Holy Shit: Yahtzee actually liked something!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/9817-Alien-Isolation-Review

And it is an “Alien” game … which is confusing because most other reviews I read didn’t like the game, but I typically hate most of the stuff proper “game critics” praise and share most of Yahtzee’s criticisms on modern games.

So that means I will probably have to dig it up at some point once it hits the bargain bin.

The Morning Chubby

So I started this thing where I would post a picture of a full figured woman to Imgur’s gallery every morning and I called it “The Morning Chubby” … Morning Chubby = Morning Wood = erection = arousal + Full Figured / Thick / “Chubby” Women + I post them in the morning.

It is a double entendre, and it is an excuse to post curvy hot chicks because I am kinda tired of the whole “I consume more cocaine than actual food and every sexual aspect of my anatomy has been surgically modified” look, and I like to think that maybe I can make some real life curvy woman fell a little bit better about herself in the process.

And it also got me baned from Imgur because full figured women in bathing suits and lingerie is NSFW while borderline pornographic animated GIFs are just fine.

Ehh, fuck ‘em; it gives me an excuse to come back to this well neglected blog of mine.

Welcome to the Morning Chubby.

Well, I Didn’t See That Coming: GOG.COM Is Now Selling DRM-Free Movies.

http://www.gog.com/movies##sort=bestselling&page=1

 

Probably should start out with saying that for now all the movies they have are Documentaries about Video Game Development, but that tis mostly because they couldn’t get any of the big studios to be the first one off the diving board.

Seems like they rolled out a significant site update as well, which it needed, but it is a little odd to navigate, and there is a sale going on for 81 games that are getting pulled off of GOG due to issues relating to GOG changing its pricing structure.

 

Funny how GOG will got for nearly years with being the same old site, then drop a major overhaul, then go for several more years with nothing else changing.

Dear Diary … of Gaming: Asterbreed.

I am reminded of two things:

(1) Bullet hell shooters have a duly earned name.

(2)I suck at bullet hell shooters.

Astebreed

 

The game is about some chicks, that get somethinged and then end up as the operating system for a couple of mechs.

 

I think there is more going on but 90% of the story is spoken in Japanese and while there is an option for subtitles, most of it takes place during the most hectic battles when reading test will get you killed. Basically some alien robot things show up and start attacking earth, then the president fights them in his mech (WTF?!?!?), then he gets a distress call from his twin daughters, only when he gets there they have been turned into robots (Seriously WTF!?!?!?!). One of them flies off with him while the other stays behind for no apparent reason other than inevitably turn up later in the game as a villain, then the president dies for some reason just as they get to earth, then they give the girl-mech-thing to the president’s adopted son (hunh?) because reasons … it all makes no sense but the actual game is pretty bad ass and enjoyable, even if the last half of the game is nothing but boss-fights instead of the waves of enemies you expect form this sort of thing.

and I do mean HALF THE GAME … the first 3 levels are waves of enemies with a medium difficulty boss at the end, then you hit a mid way cut scene where your mech gets upgraded and the rest of the game is nothing but boss fights.

The visuals are really great, the story is painful, the combat system has a few easy exploits to turn yourself nearly invulnerable but the game tends to swarm you so much that cheating in necessary in a few spots … over all it was pretty good; I like these types of games but I am flat out no good at them, so I only played it on easy.

sorta wish that they had canned the latter half of the game and stretched out the first few mission a bit more … if the latter half had cut the boss battles down to two tiers each (one of them has three segments while the other has 5) and then streched out the rest of the game for two or three passes per level, I would replay the shit out of this game.

 

as it is: I beat it once and that was enough for me.

 

Just got home from watching the season premier of Dr. Who Season 8 in a theater.

God was it awesome, I have a pretty good TV at home but the series just feels at home on a big screen with a bunch of random people all watching it together.

I wish they would do that for every episode … I know I would be willing to shell out for it.

Well, I would be willing to shell out, but I would not be wiling to shell out full movie theater ticket price for it; I loved watching it and regret nothing, but $12.50 to watch a 45min TV episode was a little steep.

Dear Diary … of Dr. Who.

Well, I was trying to get up to speed on Dr. Who so that I would be current when the new Dr. makes his debut on the 25th, but there is no way I will make it.

I know that there are a lot Matt Smith supporters, but I am not one of them and these episodes are so god damn dull … I wanna start skipping ahead and just watching the major episodes, but I am having trouble figuring out what are the important ones and which are the unimportant ones since both categories are full of either good plots interrupted with long segments of pointless banter or dull plots interrupted with moments of great guest stars outshining the regular characters.

Oh well, I doubt that the new episodes will be up on Netflix until the season is over (or will they … I only recently started watching it just after it went on break following Matt Smith’s regeneration, so I have no idea if they are simultaionusly released on netflix too), so I probably have some extra time to slog up to speed.

Someone needs to tell Red5 that “patches” are not supposed to be bigger than the game’s initial installer.

So I am patching Firefall ATM, after having installed the game when it launched a few weeks ago and then not logging back in after that, and am currently drumming my fingers while the game downloads a 3.5gb patch followed by a 4.7gb patch …

 

The game’s base installer was only 4.5gb and unpacks into about 8gb … how the fuck do you manage to release multiple patches in less than a month, that are so big that they may as well be replacing every file in the game?

Crysis 3 is equal parts impressive and boring, it is also free on PS+.

This is not what the game looks like on PS3.

 

I finished it, but I am not really sure why I was compelled to do so; I can’t say that I really enjoyed all of it, but I did enjoy parts of it … namely the parts where it gave you a fairly big map and let you take down multiple objectives in whatever order you wanted.

and those parts were few and far between.

for the most part the game stuck to corridors leading to arena-ish warehouse sized rooms where you were tasked with getting through it to the next set of corridors leading to another arena zone. the odd thing about all this is that the game actively tells you to sneak / assassinate your way through the arenas, but the second you assassinate the first opponent in the room all the other enemies go on alert and the NPC in your ear gives you shit for not being sneaky … even odder is that for a combat game, it is entirely possible to complete the entire game with only killing a small handful of “plot battle” enemies while you can simply walk past all the rest of them.

*shrug*

Combat was never any kind of intense, but I suppose that was to be expected when the entire marketing tag line for the game was about the bow and hunting enemies while cloaked.

 

At some point I need to play the earlier Crysis games … I own them all, just never finished the first one and haven’t even installed the second one even though I bought it over a year ago as part of the Humble Origin Bundle.